Affairs of the Heart

The tough times in my life have ultimately been an enormous blessing, not in themselves, but because of the way God could use them to help transform my heart. Rather than closing up my heart with guilt, bitterness, cynicism, or despair these hardships opened my heart to a stronger reliance on God to provide forgiveness, encouragment, strength, and hope.

Hardship has a way of breaking you down and exposing who you really are. It can bring out the best in a person and, as in my case, it can also bring out the worst. Over the past 30 years I have had three nervous breakdowns, depression problems, and six years of working away from home and family. Along with these issues, I also had the normal pressures of providing for my family and the responsibilities of trying to be an adequate husband and father.

The affairs of my heart have gone something like this - a heart that was selfish, arrogant, stubborn, and blind gradually changed to a heart that was softened, broken, ripe for change, repentant, grateful, trusting, forgiven, hopeful, teachable, satisfied, gracious, and ultimately a servant's heart. It was during the "repentant, grateful, and trusting" stage that I opened the door of my heart to Jesus and invited Him to come in. But even before I extended him that invitation I now see, in retrospect, that His Spirit had already been preparing my heart to make it suitable for Him to move in. Verse 20 from Revelation, Chapter 3 helps explain this pivital point in my relationship with God. Jesus says, "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will go in and eat with him, and he with me"

1) Stubborn Hearted - In 2 Chronicles, Chapter 16 - King Asa of Judah becomes angry when Nanani the prophet informs him that reliance on the King of Syria, rather than relying on God, will expose Asa to God's punishment. Asa's stubborn heart prevents him from seeking God, even when he becomes seriously ill, which eventually results in his death.

2) Hopeful Hearts - When John wrote the book of Revelation one of his prime concerns was to give hope and encouragement to the first century Christians who were experiencing harsh persecution. In Chapter 5, people are weeping because there is no one to open the scroll. But suddenly hope shines through when they are told that Jesus - the "Lion of Judah" can open the scroll and will usher in the victorious conclusion of His plan for salvation.

3) Repentant Hearts - In Zechariah, Chapter 1, God says through His prophet, "Return to me and I will return to you." This is a call for a change of heart - for hearts of repentance. The period of exile for God's people had broken and softened their hearts, making them ripe for repentance. God's people, as they returned to Jerusalem, were hungry for an improved relationship with God who had been angry with them for 70 years.

4) Forgiven Heart - The Samaritan Women (who Jesus speaks with in John, Chapter 4) is forced to come to the well in the heat of the day because she is shunned by the other women. She has been married five times and is now living with a man. It was the custom that men did not speak publically with women and Jews did not speak to Samaritans. But Jesus, who tells her that he is the Messiah, smashes through these social barriers and offers her the thirst quenching water of His love and forgiveness to sooth her guilt ravaged heart.